Growing with Wings

Found this article from Ophra's site... i found it very interesting so am sharing it with you .

In our lives we all go through changes and sometimes changes is not easy, but when we understand and know how to deal with it.. it might not be hard as it seems.

This year a new butterfly will go out from its cocoon... and it would be ME!

GROWING WINGS: THE PHASES OF HUMAN METAMORPHOSIS
Phase One: Dissolving

Here's the DealThe first phase of change is the scariest, especially because we aren't taught to expect it. It's the time when we lose our identity and are left temporarily formless: person soup. Most people fight like crazy to keep their identities from dissolving. "This is just a blip," we tell ourselves when circumstances rock our world. "I'm the same person, and my life will go back to being the way it was." Sometimes this is true. But in other cases, when real metamorphosis has begun, we run into a welter of "dissolving" experiences. We may feel that everything is falling apart, that we're losing everyone and everything. Dissolving feels like death, because it is—it's the demise of the person you've been. What to DoWhen we're dissolving we may get hysterical, fight our feelings, try to recapture our former lives, or jump immediately toward some new status quo ("rebound romance" is a classic example). All these measures actually slow down Phase One and make it more painful. The following strategies work better:
In Phase One, live one day (or ten minutes) at a time. Instead of dwelling on hopes and fears about an unknowable future, focus your attention on whatever is happening right now.
"Cocoon" by caring for yourself in physical, immediate ways. Wrap yourself in a blanket, make yourself a cup of hot tea, attend an exercise class, whatever feels comforting.
Talk to others who have gone through a metamorphosis. If you don't have a wise relative or friend, a therapist can be a source of reassurance.
Let yourself grieve. Even if you are leaving an unpleasant situation (a bad marriage, a job you didn't like), you'll probably go through the normal human response to any loss: the emotional roller coaster called the grieving process. You'll cycle through denial, anger, sadness, and acceptance many times. Just experiencing these feelings will help them pass more quickly.
If you think this sounds frustratingly passive, you're right. Dissolving isn't something you do; it's something that happens to you. The closest you'll come to controlling it is relaxing and trusting the process.


GROWING WINGS: THE PHASES OF HUMAN METAMORPHOSIS
Phase Two: Imagining

Here's the DealFor those of us who have just a few tiny control issues, Phase Two is as welcome as rain after drought. This is when the part of you that knows your destiny, the imago in your psyche, will begin giving you instructions about how to reorganize the remnants of your old identity into something altogether different. The word imago is the root of the word image. You'll know you're beginning Phase Two when your mind's eye starts seeing images of the life you are about to create. These can't be forced—like dissolving, they happen to you—and they are never what you expected. You're becoming a new person, and you'll develop traits and interests your old self didn't have. You may feel compelled to change your hairstyle or wardrobe, or redecorate your living space. The old order simply seems wrong, and you'll begin reordering your outer situation to reflect your inner rebirth. What to DoHere are some ways you may want to respond when you begin spontaneously imagining the future:
Cut out magazine pictures you find appealing or interesting. Glue them onto a piece of butcher paper. The resulting collage will be an illustration of the life you're trying to create.
Let yourself daydream. Your job is to try out imaginary scenarios until you have a clear picture of your goals and desires. You'll save a lot of time, effort, and grief by giving yourself time to do this in your head before you attempt it in the real world.
Phase Two is all about images: making them up, making them clear, making them possible. Moving through this stage, you'll start to feel an impulse to go from dreaming (imagining possibilities) to scheming (planning to bring your vision to fruition). Write down both dreams and schemes, then gather information about how you might create them.

GROWING WINGS: THE PHASES OF HUMAN METAMORPHOSIS
Phase Three: Re-forming

Here's the Deal. As your dreams become schemes, you'll begin itching to make them come true. This signals Phase Three, the implementation stage of the change process. Phase Three is when you stop fantasizing about selling your art and start submitting work to galleries, or go beyond ogling a friend's brother to having her set you up on a date. You'll feel motivated to do real, physical things to build a new life. And then…(drum roll, please)…you'll fail. Repeatedly. I've gone through Phase Three many times and watched hundreds of clients do the same. I've never seen a significant scheme succeed on the first try. Re-forming your life, like anything new, complex, and important, inevitably brings up problems you didn't expect. That's why, in contrast to the starry eyes that are so useful in Phase Two, Phase Three demands the ingenuity of Thomas Edison and the tenacity of a pit bull. What to Do
Expect things to go wrong. Many of my clients have an early failure and consider this a sign that "it just wasn't meant to be." This is a useful philosophy if you want to spend your life as person soup. To become all that you can be, you must keep working toward your dreams even when your initial efforts are unsuccessful.
Be willing to start over. Every time your plans fail, you'll briefly return to Phase One, feeling lost and confused. This is an opportunity to release some of the illusions that created hitches in your plan.
Revisit Phase Two, adjusting your dreams and schemes to include the truths you've learned from your experimentation.
Persist. Keep debugging and reimplementing your new-and-improved plans until they work. If you've followed all the steps above, they eventually will.

GROWING WINGS: THE PHASES OF HUMAN METAMORPHOSIS
Phase Four: Flying

Here's the Deal Phase Three is like crawling out of your cocoon and waiting for your crumpled, soggy wings to dry and expand. Phase Four is the payoff, the time when your new identity is fully formed and able to fly. What to DoThe following strategies—which can help you optimize this delightful situation—are about fine-tuning, not drastic transformation.
Enjoy! You've just negotiated a scary and dramatic transformation, and you deserve to savor your new identity. Spend time every day focusing on gratitude for your success.
Make small improvements. Find little ways to make your new life a bit less stressful, a bit more pleasurable.
Know that another change is just around the bend. There's no way to predict how long you'll stay in Phase Four; maybe days, maybe decades. Don't attribute your happiness to your new identity; security lies in knowing how to deal with metamorphosis, whenever it occur...